Party in the Crib

Genevieve: Mom!! It's one in the morning and I need something!!

Me: Wha? Um ok. Bottle?

G: Yes! No. Definitely no. 

Me: Ok, do you have gas?

G: Not anymore!

Me: Ok good. Back to sleep then. 

G: Just let me get comfy. Nope. *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope

Me: Ok get in bed and put yourself to sleep. 

G: But Moooooooommmmmm

Me: Okay fine. 

G: Just let me get comfy. Nope. *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope

Me: Okay fine. How about if I stand up?

G: Ooo yeah. That's good. Just let me get comfy. Nope. *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope

Me: Okay fine. How about if I stand and shush?

G: Much better. Just let me get comfy. Nope. *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope

Me: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

G: We're getting there. *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope

Me: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

G: Keep going...

Me: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

G: Keep going...

Me: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Can I shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... please sit shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... down?

G: Umm...

Me: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Please? Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

G: Yes. Acceptable. *shifts* Nope *shifts* Nope *shifts* Maybe...

Me: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

G: This could be it...

Me: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... My shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... mouth shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... hurts

G: Almost...

Me: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

G: Let's just try the first position again. Yes. Perfect. And I'm asleep. 

Me: Now I'll just put you...

G: Wait! j/k!

Me: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

G: Ok. Asleep. 

Me: Alright, now I'll just...

G: lol, nope!

Me: *half-heartedly* Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

G: Okay, for real this time. 

Me: ...

G: Really. Totally asleep. 

Me: ...

G: Wait, no. Gas. Okay good now. 

Me: ...

G: Totally asleep. Wait, gas maybe? Nah, it's all good. I'm asleep. 

Me: ...

G: zzzzzzz See? Sleeping.

Me: Okay, now I'll put you down in your bed. 

G: Yep. Still sleeping. Totally out. 

Me: *washes bottle* *goes back to bed*. *screams internally*