Random Kid Stuff

Things I've Done to Avoid Tantrums:

• Listen to Cher's "Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves" over and over. Hey, it's better than that chipmunk Christmas song she made me listen to. Unfortunately, she won't let me sing along. "Mom, I can't hear it!"
• Order side dishes with my meal that I know she'll like because she won't eat the ones on her own plate. "And I'll take broccoli with that." (Did those words just come out of my mouth?)
• Allowed a sleeping child to drool on my nice pants. My policy is to let sleeping children lie.
• Bought something with the words "Barbie" and "movie" in the title.
• Order Kraft macaroni and cheese at a restaurant.
• Choose a restaurant based on what food they would have for my child to eat.

Elizabeth's spelling of "water": "Mom I want some water. 3-2-1-W-X water."

Banned words in my house:

• park
• stroller
• bike
• Disneyland
• snacks
• any word naming a food that is not currently in the house.

I remember those kid-free days when we'd need something (like milk or shampoo) and we'd both go to the store for it. Now we fight over who gets to escape and who stays home with the kids. ("I'll go get it!" "No, you got to go last time!")

Something I actually said to my husband the other day: "Do you want the poop or the tantrum?" (He picked tantrum and she had fallen asleep. Lucky! Next time he doesn't get a choice.)

Elizabeth's excuse as to why she could not clear her place at the table after dinner: "I'm a girl. I don't know how to do those things."