This whole weekend has been one disappointment after another. Ever since Thursday when I found out that I would have to come to work on my Friday off because some !&#%$ project engineer told his client that we would have a calculation (started Thursday afternoon) done by Monday. So thanks for ruining my 4-day weekend by making me come in on my day off. And of course I had absolutely nothing to do all week. And of course the guy doing the calculation couldn't work on it Thursday night (so all I had to do was check it when I came in) because his computer crashed. So I spent two hours waiting for him to finish.
By the time I was done, I had just enough time left to pick up the kids (Thanks Mandie, the one person who didn't disappoint me this weekend!) and get home and go visit teaching. And I'm completely out of my element there because of my anxiety.
Oh yeah, and earlier that day, I went to my OBGYN. Her office staff had me make sure my records were correct. Then I waited for half an hour. Then they called me up to the desk to tell me about their new policy. I have insurance through Cliff's work and mine, and of course mine is primary. But I really hate the OBGYNs on my plan because its HPN and that means Swouthwest Medical. So my OBGYN is with Cliff's insurance. Well, their new policy is to make me pay up front in cash so that they have money while they go through the whole submitting-and-rejecting-and-submitting-and-getting-paid process. Then they'll pay me back. I think that is the stupidest thing I ever heard. I think it's their way of getting rid of people like me with two insurances (which we've always had problems with.) And it worked; I cancelled my appointment and I'm finding a new doctor.
So the rest of the weekend went downhill from there. I'm not going to give any more specifics because of the people involved, but the word of the weekend seems to be "disappointed." And I'm the most disappointed in myself. Yesterday I spent most of the day in bed. I guess it's depression when the one or two good thoughts that you have are overwhelmed and beaten to a bloody pulp by the bad ones. I wish I could stay in bed today and ignore everything. Especially that teething baby and the voice that woke me up this morning saying "Mommy!"
And today is the worst day for a day off because all I'll end up doing is putting on movies for Elizabeth while I sit around my dirty, cluttered house thinking about all the things I have to do and hating everything, myself most of all.
