Children's Stories

Random amusing things that happened this weekend:

At Sophie’s birthday party, her cousin Colin said something in Japanese and was surprised when Cliff responded.
Elizabeth: “That’s right! My dad speaks Japan!”
Cliff: “It’s Japanese.”
Elizabeth: “Who cares? This is a party!”

On the way home from church after Catherine told us something she was doing.
Cliff: “Thanks for sharing.”
Catherine: “I wasn’t sharing, I was talking. Catherine isn’t here right now. Leave a message after the tone. Beeeep.”

The girls are all in bed. I am sitting with Lexa, waiting for her to get sleepy. Elizabeth and I have already had a discussion about how cars are designed and how car companies hire engineers to design cars.
Elizabeth: “Mom, can girls be engineers?”
Me: “Yes, I’m an engineer.”
Elizabeth: “What kind of engineer are you?”
Me: Explains what I do.
Elizabeth: “Mom, do they have cars in China?”
Me: “Yes.”
Elizabeth: “Mom, you know how they put up a ‘Wet Floor’ sign by a puddle?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Elizabeth: “Well, if they have a big puddle, do they put signs all around it so no one will step in it and fall?”
Me: “I think they just use one sign and people have to be careful when they’re walking.”
Elizabeth: “I think they should put a rail around the puddle so people can have something to hold onto when they are walking and they won’t slip.”
Me: “Yeah, that would be helpful.”
Elizabeth: “Or they could just make the liquid spill next to a rail.”
Me: “Yep, that would be convenient.”

We are all folding laundry when Catherine has to go to the bathroom. A few minutes later I hear screaming and hysterical crying so I run into the hall expecting blood and gore. Catherine is running down the hall toward me and I hold her and ask her what happened. She tries to tell my while still crying hysterically.

Catherine: “Sodin weisodif oihais oiaer iaoioivhy!! Aoawme pocij oiwena kwmep aojsjd awlemlvh!! Vuuebybzisdu ainsin aubruasfub aowenro!!”
Me: “Okay, calm down. You’re okay. Calm down and tell me what happened.”
Catherine: “Sodin weisodif oihais oiaer iaoioivhy!! Aoawme potty oiwena kwmep water awlemlvh!! Vuuebybzisdu water coming out!!”

I go into the bathroom where the toilet is overflowing and shut the water off. I put towels down because it is moving towards the carpet and then go back in to give Catherine more hugs and assure her that it wasn’t her fault. Later on, she’s afraid to go to the bathroom by herself, so I go with her. She tells me the story three times that weekend.

Catherine: “Mom, remember when I went to the potty and I then wiped my bum and then I put the paper into the potty and then I took my [potty] seat off and then I flushed the potty and then the water was coming up and then I put my seat back on and then I flushed again and the water was coming out? Do you remember that Mom?”
Me: “Yes, I remember.”