To preface this post, I am going to give a little bit of history about my drug use. I have tried about 6 different medications to try to help my depression and/or anxiety. I have also been to 3 psychiatrists, 2 psychologists, 2 doctors, and a therapist. Usually I tried something, it would work for a while, and then I would get pregnant and go off the medication and I would start all over. (I guess if I was smart I would have kept a better record of all this stuff, but oh well.)
Cliff used to joke that my chemistry was all out of whack and so instead of being crazy while pregnant like most people, I was actually more stable. Turns out that he was on to something.
While keeping track of my monthly cycle, trying to get pregnant with Alexa, I noticed that things would get worse and worse until the day before my period and then all of a sudden I would be fine. And it happened every month. And then I was fine again while pregnant. I talked with my OB about it and she said that hormones increase through the month until the start of your period when they reset back to zero (so to speak.) She suggested that I try a birth control pill that does not increase hormones. You get the same low dose every day without the increase.
It’s been 3 months now and I feel great. I cried for joy last night when I realized that I haven’t been depressed yet while on this pill. And the best thing is that there haven’t been any side effects. The other medications kept me from feeling too low, but they also kept me from the highs. I was never very excited about anything. And there was usually something else like feeling tired or hungry or whatever. There hasn’t been any of that. It's just birth control!
I’ve played games with the kids, had more energy, been really happy, and once in a while a little sad. When I did get upset, I just put myself in time-out and was feeling better in 10 minutes. Nothing like the 3-4 days of not wanting to do anything but lie in bed that I had before. I even started to exercise this week. I haven’t wanted to do that for years. AND I’ve been wearing make-up! Regularly!
I know that eventually things will change again, but for now it is nice to feel good AND have energy AND get excited about things all at the same time. Plus I still have some anxiety (mostly calling people on the phone and confrontation) but I have good coping strategies from my time with the therapists.
I just feel GOOD. And happy. And relieved. I didn’t realize how much stress it was adding to my life until it was gone.
HOORAY! Better living through chemistry!
3 comments:
Oh man! What a breakthrough discovery. That is great you could solve some of your anxiety riddle! You are an amazing person. :)
Way to go Jen!! I thought, but didn't say yesterday, that you were looking happy and well when we were at lunch. Sorry I didn't say anything yesterday, but I now realize what was going on.
I noticed that same pattern in my life. When things were crazy and there was a storm in my head I would look at the calender and think, "Well it's about that time." I haven't been on the pill since before I was married because I didn't like the side effects (feeling sick, tired, etc). Maybe I should try to find something like you have. It sounds great. Glad you are feeling good!
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