Training Day

I had an all-day training today and this is what I got out of it.

7:30 The class actually started on time. It's scheduled to go 'til 4:30. There were 13 students and 2 instructors. The first thing we do is tell the class our names, our positions, and our expectations for the class. Instructor #1 (I1) made comments after everyone's intro assuring them that the class would fulfill their expectations. I wished I had said I expected to be bored.

7:50 Intros are over. That's 1 minute 20 seconds per person. We now go over the learning objective: to be able to fill out the FCD form. Yes, a nine hour class on how to fill out a 2 page form.

8:00 We review the "handout", a 3/4 inch stack of paper.

8:04 First interruption by the second instructor, I2. I expect there will be more of these because he is the SME, subject matter expert, who wrote the form and the procedure.

8:22 I1 uses "guys" in reference to the class. He catches himself and asks me if it bothers me that he uses that term when our class obviously includes a female. I really hate it when they do that. Hello! I've been an engineer for 11 years now. I think I'm used to it!

8:24 First break. I think this is going to be one of those trainings that would have been useful 6 years ago when I first started working here. I'm mostly right.

8:38 Second interruption by I2 when the engineers in the room start picking apart the guy's example drawing. Cut him some slack guys, he's just a safety analyst!

8:41 Third interruption by I2. He points out the references on each slide so we know that they aren't just making this stuff up. Whew! And I was worried that this was all a bunch of BS!

8:48 Paid attention long enough to find out that I1 is a slide reader. Go back to not paying attention.

8:50 Fourth interruption by I2.

8:52 I notice that the handout paper is thinner and shinier than normal paper. Oooo. Shiny.

8:56 I actually learn something! A system FC is defined in the DSA while an SSC FC is defined in the FCDF.

8:57 Fifth interruption by I2.

9:05 The references discussed in the third interruption need revising. One of the two that I looked up is incorrect. By my statistics, that means half of them are wrong!

9:28 Headache beginning from all the theoreticalness going on. Doesn't he know that engineers prefer facts?

9:31 Break time again. I go to refill my water bottle. I've already drunk 2 bottle of liquid this morning so I'll probably have to pee next break time.

9:36 Before the class starts up again, I overhear I2 giving I1 "constructive feedback" on how long I1 is taking even though it was I2 who prolonged the theoreticalness.

9:45 I notice that the sample says "This is only a simple."

9:52 I overestimated the capacity of my bladder. I might have to slip out before the next break.

9:54 Sixth I2 interruption to give more assurance that they're not just making this stuff up.

9:57 I2 takes over the class because I1 apparently has pneumonia. WHY ARE YOU HERE? I2 begins by going back a slide to pick up a few things I1 missed.

10:14 We start filling out an example form. I2 has a giant one on the wall that he is writing on. He wants us to write on our papers the same thing he is writing on the wall. He actually comes around to check that we are doing it. Obsess much?

10:34 We reference the sample PDSA (preliminary documented safety analysis). I2 actually made a fake 29 page document just for this training. It even has 8 pages of revisions, acronyms, and a glossary. Wow.

10:40 Finally break time! I really have to pee.

10:49 I'm trying not to think about the granola bar in my purse because it's almost lunchtime.

11:46 Yea! Lunchtime! Here I come, CiCi's Pizza. I've missed you!

12:42 Class is supposed to resume in 4 minutes, but only I1 and I are here.

12:53 Class finally resumes.

12:59 I2 says, "What did you guys...and gals just do?" Grrrrr. Just say "guys", it's okay! Stupid PC...

1:13 I officially get sick of the words, "Let's say that..."

1:16 Some left/put 2 boxes of Girl Scout cookies on a side table. I start thinking of the 4 boxes I have at home.

1:21 Eat a piece of gum to keep me awake and to take my mind off cookies.

1:53 I1 interrupts for the first time. I2 disagrees with him. Guess there's no arguing with the guy that wrote the procedure.

2:04 Hey, weren't we supposed to have a break every hour?

2:10 Oh good. Break time. Most of the class is wearing blue or gray shirts. Actually, 4 have blue, 4 gray, 3 green, 2 orange, and one purple (me). Seven people are wearing button-down shirts, 5 polos, and 2 others (me, T-shirt).

2:47 I spit out my gum and I need to pee again. I don't think the two are related.

3:01 Amount of liquids I consumed today: 1/2L strawberry milk, 1L water, 1/2L Barq's root beer (Don't tell Cliff. He's anti-caffeine.)

3:21 I step outside to blow my nose. I should have gone pee while I was out there.

3:27 Summary time! That means the end is near!

3:30 Yea, pee break!

3:38 Exam time. There's a 1 hour time limit. I usually finish first because I'm a fast reader.

3:54 I finish part 1, the multiple choice/fill in the blank section. Now I get to do part 2: fill out the form.

4:19 Done! Wait, I wasn't first? Oh well. At least I was second. I won't know if I passed or not 'til next week. And I still can't believe how obsessed I2 was about the whole thing. Good thing I don't have to take a class with every form I have to fill out!